[0.0s] Last time, on the Dumbgeons and Dragons podcast.
[3.2s] You enter the council chamber and catch the eye of Lady Silverhand, who calmly says,
[9.6s] Council is in session.
[11.4s] Delane speaks up and he says, uh, I have heard and have been getting reports that
[17.8s] there have been many recent dragon attacks in the Misty Forest.
[22.1s] I'm willing to lead a team there.
[24.8s] Like a group huddle.
[25.8s] Like, which way do I do it?
[26.8s] Why do I do it?
[27.8s] We'll do it!
[29.3s] Lord Neverember had one more piece.
[32.9s] Lord Neverember stands up.
[34.5s] I've been sent a representative from the metallic dragons.
[39.2s] This is Elia.
[40.6s] They wish for a representative to be sent to their council meeting in the Nether Mountains.
[46.7s] Are we being asked to be in two places at once?
[49.2s] The council meeting will be held when you get to it.
[53.0s] Whatcha doin'?
[54.0s] Uh, gathering supplies, throwing them on the airship, punching Grancis in the stomach.
[58.6s] Hi!
[59.6s] He goes and fires up the airship and you guys start flying off towards the Misty Forest.
[66.4s] You are suddenly in what appears to be a lot of fog.
[72.5s] Grancis yells out, he's like, uh, just, uh, just keep an eye out.
[75.7s] Make sure we don't dip too low and like clip a tree or something.
[79.2s] You know?
[80.2s] I'm sorry, who are you talking to?
[81.3s] You guys!
[82.4s] We are to keep an eye out.
[84.1s] Yeah!
[85.1s] Aren't you driving this airship?
[86.1s] Yeah.
[87.1s] Now I'm a fucking pilot.
[88.6s] God damn it.
[89.6s] I look out the window.
[90.6s] I'm like, I don't know.
[91.6s] And as you look out the window and you say you don't see anything, there is a burst
[95.7s] of black flame that strikes the airship and a adult black dragon swoops overhead as
[102.3s] you begin plummeting to the ground.
[104.6s] Grancis yells, I told you to watch out!
[108.0s] Hold on to your butts!
[109.9s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[113.2s] We are a fifth edition actual play podcast.
[116.0s] I am your dungeon master, Russ More, and with me today is Amy More, who looks quite
[120.6s] perpLexed.
[121.6s] Well, yeah, you didn't start it right.
[123.2s] What do you mean?
[124.2s] Karla, did he start it right?
[126.6s] Doesn't that come after the intro?
[128.1s] This again?
[129.1s] I don't know.
[130.1s] I just feel like it was wrong.
[131.1s] You're supposed to say let's fucking...
[136.4s] That's after you bullshit for the next 15 minutes.
[139.0s] Do we bullshit for the next 15 minutes?
[141.0s] Yeah.
[142.0s] Okay.
[143.0s] Always bugging Russ and also always playing Thea Amastasia.
[148.0s] Also with me today is Karla Johnson.
[150.5s] Only bugging Russ More like 40% of the time and playing Nulara Moonbrook.
[156.5s] And Tom Laird.
[157.7s] I try to bug Russ, but he usually shrugs it off pretty good.
[161.3s] And I play Flynn Firebeard.
[163.1s] And also with us today, a very special guest, is DM Dock from the Bros and Dragons podcast.
[171.0s] If you're dehydrated in the desert, you can drink your own pee.
[174.2s] Thanks for having me.
[175.2s] See, he actually has something ready to go before the beginning of the show.
[179.6s] Oh, I'm sorry.
[180.6s] Am I supposed to be quippy?
[181.6s] Yeah.
[182.6s] Oh God, I'm going to write the most fucked up shit.
[185.2s] You wait for it.
[186.2s] It's going to be godawful.
[187.2s] Now you've done it.
[188.2s] This is really a Pandora's box situation.
[190.0s] This is happening now.
[191.8s] Thanks for the liberty, giving me the liberty to do that, Doc.
[196.1s] Welcome.
[197.1s] I'm here for you, Amy.
[198.1s] Yes, welcome, Doc.
[199.1s] Thank you for being on the show here.
[200.6s] We'll get to who you're playing in a little bit, obviously, because we want to keep the
[206.2s] suspense going for the players here.
[209.3s] This is a game?
[210.3s] No, it's not.
[211.3s] It's more serious than a game.
[212.7s] It's kind of just us talking for like a couple hours and then seeing what comes
[217.1s] out of that.
[218.1s] But yes, I mean, there might be some dice rolling.
[221.7s] You got your dice ready?
[222.7s] I sent you those sweet metal ones.
[224.6s] I do have dice, but I was ready for blackjack and hookers is what I thought Tom told
[230.9s] me.
[231.9s] Yeah, but you have to supply your own.
[234.9s] B, Y, O, B, J and H.
[238.6s] Oh, that doesn't work out either.
[243.1s] Hold on one phone call here and I can get this moving.
[247.2s] I'm just kidding.
[248.3s] I'm ready to win at D&D.
[251.5s] Well, I'm sorry.
[252.0s] You're on Jemjins and Dragons.
[254.2s] Nobody wins at this game.
[257.6s] All right.
[258.4s] So we're going to we're going to start back a little bit for for our adventures here just
[263.3s] to kind of catch Doc up on what's happening and the scene that we're about to walk into.
[268.0s] I have notes.
[270.6s] Yeah, it it's OK.
[272.2s] We don't need to do the usual talk where you guys don't remember what happened.
[275.6s] I really want to hear the notes.
[277.0s] OK, hear the notes.
[278.1s] Oh, no, but I mean, this this episode hasn't come out yet for Doc.
[281.2s] So he doesn't know what happened last episode.
[282.9s] OK, Delene Winterhound.
[284.9s] This is just what I got is literally two and a half lines.
[288.9s] And there was a lot of information in the last episode.
[292.6s] Delane Winterhound will lead a team to the Misty Forest.
[295.5s] We will find King Melandric's son.
[298.7s] Neronvane, Nerenvane.
[301.7s] Elven villages may be totally destroyed by a dragon.
[304.8s] We'll go there first and then we'll go and be ambassadors to the Never Mountains
[309.0s] and meet with the metallic dragons.
[312.0s] Oh, that's actually kind of concise.
[314.2s] Oh, I did a good job. I think I did fine.
[315.7s] You did good. You did good. Good for me.
[320.3s] You're on the airship on the way to the Misty Forest,
[324.6s] passing just on the outskirts of the city of Daggerford.
[328.7s] It's been a beautiful, clear day, as far as the weather goes,
[332.4s] when you quickly and suddenly become surrounded by thick, dense fog.
[337.6s] Grancis calls out, oh boy, can't quite see much.
[342.6s] Everyone just, you know, keep an eye out or something.
[346.2s] You each take a position around the ship when, Nulara,
[349.2s] you're the first to see and hear through the fog
[353.0s] the heavy flapping of wings
[356.2s] and the back of what looks to be a huge black dragon
[360.0s] soar near the airship through the fog.
[363.0s] As you call out to warn the rest, the airship blimp bursts
[366.6s] in a black, green fiery explosion,
[369.8s] and everyone is startled by the dragon's attack,
[373.5s] but braces for impact.
[375.0s] As Grancis yells out, hold on to your butts!
[378.7s] The airship plummets from the sky as you gain speed
[381.3s] and careen towards the ground.
[383.2s] But just before you hit, you all feel a warmth or glow
[387.1s] come over you that seemingly protects you
[389.5s] as the bottom of the airship gives way
[393.1s] in a sickening explosion of wood and debris.
[396.8s] The airship is destroyed and you hear screams
[399.6s] come from the city of Daggerford
[401.2s] as fragments of the airship pierce into buildings.
[404.8s] You look up and see the black dragon circling overhead
[409.0s] and off of it fly ropes and sliding down those ropes,
[412.2s] you see what you can assume to be 15 members
[415.8s] of the Cult of the Dragon.
[418.1s] As you quickly collect yourselves,
[420.1s] you notice all of your members appear to be okay
[423.9s] except for Grancis who is slumped
[426.0s] over the wheel of the airship.
[429.6s] From the clearing fog, you see more creatures coming,
[433.2s] weapons drawn, three Meseloth and one Naikoloth,
[436.8s] along with the 15 members of the Cult of the Dragon,
[439.8s] the black dragon circling overhead.
[442.5s] Amid the chaos, you all feel the cult included
[446.3s] as though you're being watched.
[449.2s] Off in the distance, you see a hill at the end of a plane
[454.2s] and cresting that hill is a soul humanoid
[458.0s] in armor shaped as a dragon with great sword in hand.
[463.3s] He gets to the top of the hill and he calls out,
[465.9s] let them go and leave with your lives
[468.7s] or me and my friend will destroy you all.
[472.5s] One of the members of the cult looks around
[474.7s] at their numbers and then back to the men
[478.1s] on the hill and says, I only see one of you,
[481.1s] shouldn't be too much of a problem, do your worst.
[484.1s] And then as the black dragon circling above
[487.3s] lets loose its breath weapon behind you,
[489.8s] lighting up the buildings, blocking your exits,
[493.3s] you hear from beyond the hill
[495.8s] where the soul armored figure stands,
[499.5s] the large flapping of moor wings.
[503.8s] And what do they see come over that hill?
[507.2s] Over the hill comes a plate armored blue dragon
[513.1s] with saddle flapping its wings flying over the night
[517.0s] as he charges forward into the fight.
[519.0s] Yeah he does.
[520.2s] Everybody roll for initiative.
[524.1s] You hear that, thank you Wyrmwood.
[525.9s] Sweet 14.
[526.9s] 21.
[527.8s] 15.
[528.6s] 19 for the knight, 15 for the dragon.
[531.7s] Flint you got a 15 as well.
[534.5s] Yeah, the dragon can go before me.
[536.4s] Yeah, that seems fair.
[537.2s] You don't want to fight with the dragon?
[539.6s] Okay, Nularaaaa, you are up first.
[542.0s] You have a whole swack of things happening behind you.
[546.4s] So there's a row of buildings,
[548.8s] a light with dragon breath fire,
[551.0s] you've got a black dragon above you,
[552.8s] you've got a blue dragon in plate armor
[555.2s] and a knight rushing towards you and your crew.
[558.1s] There are 15 cult members of varying levels of armor
[563.6s] and weaponry, three Mesoloth,
[567.5s] kind of demonic fiend type creatures,
[571.2s] one Nycoloth which is a larger aberration beast
[575.2s] with wings and what do you want to do?
[579.2s] Oh boy.
[582.4s] What is closest to me
[584.6s] since I don't fight much with a ranged weapon?
[588.0s] Yeah.
[589.6s] You are on the bridge of the wrecked airship
[593.5s] and all of these cult members are within about 20 feet
[599.2s] ranging from 10 to 20 feet of the ship.
[602.4s] A few of them have their backs turned to you
[605.2s] and are looking at the knight rushing towards you.
[607.6s] Well, I guess I will attack some cultists
[610.9s] cause I know for sure skis that I want to kill them.
[614.2s] Yeah.
[616.0s] So first attack is a 25.
[619.8s] 25 will hit one of the cultists.
[622.7s] Great, so that's nine damage.
[624.8s] And sorry, you hit it with?
[626.8s] Oh, sorry, flame tongue, my amazing flaming sword.
[630.7s] Yep.
[631.6s] Second attack, that is a 22.
[636.2s] 22 will hit, yep.
[637.1s] 16 damage on that one.
[639.0s] So you leap off the airship
[640.6s] and rush towards this cultist
[642.2s] and you catch it off guard and strike into him twice
[645.4s] and he falls to the ground dead.
[647.4s] Huzzah.
[648.3s] Knight, you're up.
[649.7s] I will, avoiding the people from the airship,
[653.4s] line myself up, hopefully,
[655.0s] with a couple of Alas in front of me.
[657.6s] Yep.
[659.0s] And I will yell,
[661.7s] Chovo, draw, call.
[663.4s] And out of the mouth of the armor,
[667.1s] lightning will shoot.
[669.0s] And everybody 80 feet down that line
[672.6s] needs to give me one of them big old dexterity saves.
[676.9s] Yes, sir.
[678.0s] So you've got two cultists
[680.6s] and two of the Mesoloth creatures in there.
[684.6s] So the cultists are gonna be a five and a six.
[691.5s] I'm sure that'll do it.
[692.5s] I'm sure that nailed it.
[694.4s] And the Mesoloth, one of them rolls a one.
[697.3s] Wow.
[699.6s] Plus three is four.
[701.0s] So that'll be a four and a 13.
[704.1s] Yeah, magic number was 17.
[705.4s] Yeah, that's what I figured.
[709.5s] 25 lightning damage to everybody in that.
[712.2s] Oh yeah.
[715.5s] One of the cultists drops to the ground dead.
[718.2s] The other one drops to his knees
[720.9s] and is smoldering underneath the damage it has taken.
[725.4s] The two Mesoloths, they take the damage
[727.8s] but scatter to the side.
[729.4s] Singed, but still in the battle.
[732.1s] One of the Mesoloths rushes up onto the deck of the ship
[737.1s] and goes to hit Flint with his trident.
[741.4s] That's a 26 with its trident
[746.0s] and a 20 not critical with its claw.
[751.6s] These are unpleasant looking creatures.
[755.2s] Just did a Google image.
[757.5s] Did a Google image search on this bad boy.
[760.9s] He's like a roachy trident.
[763.8s] Kind of like a bug mouth.
[764.6s] Yeah, pretty nasty.
[767.4s] Why don't we ever fight anything cute?
[769.7s] I guess it's better that we don't.
[770.5s] Next time.
[771.4s] No, I don't want to.
[772.2s] I take it back, I don't want to.
[773.0s] We fought a sock dragon.
[774.1s] That was pretty cute.
[775.0s] You're right.
[775.8s] That was cute.
[776.7s] Thea will slaughter something cute.
[777.5s] She doesn't care.
[778.5s] Oh, she is a psychopath.
[780.0s] So Flint, you're gonna take seven piercing damage
[785.9s] from its trident and 11 slashing damage from its claws.
[792.8s] Now ask him where he got his suit
[794.1s] and was it from the toilet store?
[798.5s] Exactly.
[799.4s] And then it's going to magically teleport
[804.7s] to the other side of the ship,
[807.0s] off of the ship with more of the cult members.
[810.8s] Blue dragons up.
[812.6s] It will land right behind me shortly after my breath
[816.9s] and it will give out a mighty roar.
[819.4s] Everybody within 80 feet from the dragon
[822.2s] need to give me a constitution saving throw
[826.5s] or a wisdom saving throw, excuse me.
[828.1s] I would much rather it was constitution, Doc.
[833.6s] I meant constitution there, Tom.
[835.4s] I'm good for wisdom.
[836.2s] Oh, just for fighters, though.
[838.2s] Just for dwarf fighters, got it.
[839.8s] Yeah.
[842.0s] 16.
[843.6s] Not bad, 13.
[844.4s] 10.
[845.4s] Oh no, I'm a liar, 20.
[847.7s] What do they got to beat there, Doc,
[848.8s] just because I got a whole shit ton of things
[850.6s] that you're trying to scare.
[851.9s] Math.
[853.2s] You have to beat math.
[854.6s] 15. 15, all right.
[856.3s] Hold, please.
[857.1s] This is one of my favorite enemies.
[858.6s] I feel like I might have advantage on wisdom throws.
[864.1s] Please hold while I look in the player's handbook
[866.3s] that I have right in front of me, Russ.
[870.7s] Why do you have that, Carla?
[872.4s] I read it every night before I go to bed, Russ.
[876.2s] Just kidding, I don't.
[877.0s] I believe you not.
[877.8s] Don't be mean to me, don't be mean to me.
[878.7s] I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[881.8s] No, I'm a liar.
[882.8s] Only when I am tracking them do I have advantage.
[886.8s] Well, that makes sense.
[887.6s] Can you claim to track something
[889.0s] when you can see them, like right there?
[892.3s] Totally.
[893.4s] I thought it was worth a shot
[894.4s] since I rolled that real shitty 10,
[896.2s] but no such luck.
[899.8s] Okay, so half of the cult members are afeard of that dragon
[905.2s] and two of the Mesoloths are also afeard of that dragon.
[911.0s] The Naikoloth and one of the Mesoloths
[913.6s] and the other half of the cult members saved.
[916.2s] So it's not fear, it's frightened,
[918.2s] which is a big difference.
[919.3s] That's what I meant.
[921.9s] Does anybody need to know about frightened?
[923.6s] I've listened to you guys long enough.
[925.3s] Yeah, I would love to know what frightened does
[927.5s] because I don't know.
[928.6s] So if you are frightened of the dragon,
[930.8s] you have disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls
[934.5s] while that dragon's in your line of sight
[936.4s] and you cannot willingly move closer to the dragon.
[939.4s] So Nularaaaa could just turn around and be like, ooh.
[944.8s] Not afraid of that anymore.
[946.4s] Pretty much.
[947.2s] Actually, the way the rules are written,
[948.6s] that is exactly what you can do.
[950.6s] Just close your eyes, Nularaaaa.
[952.7s] Luckily, there's lots of enemies around.
[954.4s] I can spin around at some point
[956.4s] before my turn comes up again.
[958.1s] All right, Flint, you're up.
[959.6s] All right, what's near me, Russ?
[961.6s] Oh, you're... A dragon.
[963.3s] Oh, sorry.
[964.1s] Yeah, there's a...
[965.4s] In your immediate line of sight, there is a dragon,
[968.4s] which I don't know if you're frightened of.
[970.4s] Yes, I am.
[971.6s] You're frightened of that dragon.
[973.5s] He thinks you're all pussies.
[975.8s] So say that straight ahead.
[977.6s] You have cult members off to the left
[982.2s] and the right of your location
[985.7s] and you also have a Nikoloth off kind of right and back.
[989.6s] So it would be out of your line of sight.
[991.7s] Okay, I will go... Of that dragon.
[993.8s] I will turn slightly to the left
[995.7s] to avoid looking at the dragon
[997.8s] and beeline it straight over to those cultists.
[1000.2s] Yep, you got it.
[1001.1s] All right, and I'm assuming they're within range of me?
[1003.0s] Yep. Perfect.
[1004.2s] Well, let's get that axe a-chopping.
[1007.7s] That's a 22. 22 will hit.
[1010.8s] That's nine damage.
[1012.1s] Nine damage, okay.
[1014.3s] And a 21.
[1017.2s] Yep. So that's 18 damage.
[1019.4s] Yeah, you leap off the ship and drive your axe into it
[1023.8s] and it, on the second strike, drops to the ground dead.
[1027.5s] Excellent.
[1028.3s] Thea, you're up.
[1029.2s] All right, Thea's a little concerned
[1030.7s] about the circling black dragon overhead.
[1034.2s] Yep.
[1035.0s] And so she will blight him thusly.
[1038.1s] He can do his best to make a constitution saving throw.
[1041.0s] It'll probably suck at it.
[1043.5s] Well, you know dragons, they're bad at everything.
[1046.1s] Yeah.
[1047.2s] That's what I keep telling them.
[1049.5s] Constitution saving throw, you say?
[1050.8s] Yeah, mm-hmm.
[1052.4s] Okay.
[1053.6s] Okay, well that saves.
[1054.4s] That's gonna be a 19.
[1055.6s] Yeah.
[1056.4s] Okay, but he takes half.
[1057.7s] Oh, sorry, no, 24.
[1058.8s] It doesn't matter.
[1060.2s] It's fine, you don't need to rub it in.
[1061.8s] Well, then you will take 48 damage.
[1065.9s] What type of damage?
[1066.7s] No, she said 48. Necrotic.
[1069.0s] Yeah, so you will take 48 necrotic damage.
[1073.0s] Okay.
[1074.0s] Do you have anything you wanna say?
[1077.4s] Do I have anything I wanna say?
[1078.2s] No.
[1079.1s] No, anything to declare?
[1080.3s] No.
[1081.3s] You gotta look on your face.
[1082.7s] Are you importing honeybees into this fight?
[1085.3s] Because you need to tell us.
[1088.4s] Negative, no honeybees.
[1089.7s] You guys have lost all my math.
[1094.3s] You've lost all your math.
[1096.2s] Just roll it again.
[1098.6s] Okay, nobody talks to me.
[1101.3s] One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10.
[1103.2s] No, shut up.
[1105.0s] 11, 12. 17, good God.
[1107.6s] Good God, what are you trying to do to me?
[1109.2s] No, no, no.
[1111.3s] Oh, okay, I see what you're trying.
[1112.4s] Yeah, it takes all 17,
[1114.3s] because I only rolled four D8s.
[1117.2s] And it should have been eight D8s.
[1119.1s] Or should I roll eight
[1119.9s] and you only take half of the damage of the eight?
[1122.4s] If that's the way it's worded,
[1123.5s] then that's what you should do.
[1124.3s] Well, I don't know, it just says
[1125.2s] the target takes half as much damage on a six, seven.
[1128.0s] Yeah, so you roll eight D8
[1129.4s] and then take half of your roll.
[1130.6s] Okay, I said 17?
[1131.6s] Yeah.
[1132.7s] Okay, so half of 43.
[1134.6s] That's so much better.
[1136.0s] So 21.
[1138.2s] One.
[1139.1s] Okay, you're good.
[1142.6s] Yeah.
[1143.6s] Okay, so some cult members
[1146.7s] that are frightened of the dragon, the blue dragon,
[1149.8s] it's their turn now.
[1151.4s] And there are not seven of them anymore,
[1154.7s] because you guys are killing them.
[1157.0s] Like that.
[1159.7s] Six of those.
[1161.0s] So two of them are going to attack at Flint,
[1165.2s] who is on the ground.
[1166.2s] Two of them are going to attack at New Laura.
[1170.6s] And two of them are going to come up onto the ship
[1174.8s] and attack at Thaddeus, who is also there.
[1178.6s] Who does?
[1179.4s] You guys totally remember that Thaddeus is there.
[1180.3s] Oh, no, yeah, totally.
[1181.4s] Thaddeus, much gruffer, you know,
[1185.0s] the really responsible one out of the duo of Thaddeus.
[1188.5s] God, that's damning with faint praise.
[1191.1s] Also, you can't attack at somebody, just saying.
[1193.4s] Yeah, you can do whatever I want.
[1195.0s] You can't attack at somebody.
[1195.8s] I'm the boss.
[1197.8s] You can't change grammar to faint.
[1201.3s] Okay, so the first one's going to attack Flint.
[1205.0s] Oh, that's going to hit you twice there, bud.
[1207.8s] Uh-oh.
[1208.7s] With his short sword,
[1210.1s] you're going to take two short swords
[1212.0s] and only two short swords.
[1214.4s] No more, no less.
[1215.4s] No more, no less,
[1217.4s] which is going to be 14 piercing damage.
[1221.0s] Okey-dokey.
[1222.0s] New Laura, you are also going to take some hits, maybe.
[1228.6s] Maybe not.
[1229.4s] That's a 20 with the short sword
[1232.6s] and a 21 with the short sword.
[1234.3s] Maybe.
[1235.1s] Yep, that'll do it.
[1236.6s] Then the other one is going to attack
[1238.3s] with its other stuff, with its scimitar.
[1241.6s] It's a 22 and a 17.
[1243.9s] 17 is my AC.
[1246.4s] If it meets, it beats.
[1247.6s] Yeah, so it does.
[1248.4s] Great, well, I guess I'm done now.
[1249.4s] So first.
[1250.3s] It's been fun, guys.
[1251.1s] Bye.
[1254.0s] It was a good run.
[1255.0s] It was a good run.
[1255.8s] 12 piercing damage off the short swords.
[1259.4s] No, your full hit points are okay.
[1261.4s] But you'd get to use that character handbook again
[1263.8s] to make a new character.
[1264.8s] It's true.
[1265.7s] And now that you read it every night,
[1267.2s] you know what character you really want to make.
[1269.0s] I definitely, yeah, I wouldn't be some lame-ass human.
[1272.0s] So sorry, 12 from the short swords.
[1274.0s] So you got, yeah, 12 and then 13 from the scimitar.
[1277.3s] So 25 total.
[1278.4s] Okey-doke.
[1279.2s] Oh boy.
[1280.2s] And the two attacking Thaddeus.
[1283.3s] One will hit with his scimitar
[1287.4s] and the other will hit with a scimitar.
[1291.1s] So he's going to take 18.
[1295.2s] Sorry, what is Thaddeus' last name?
[1297.0s] Thaddeus Sicker Crumuple.
[1298.9s] Crumuple.
[1300.3s] Also, is it Thaddeus with an I-U-S or an E-U-S at the end?
[1305.0s] E-U-S.
[1305.8s] All right.
[1306.6s] This didn't come up.
[1307.5s] No, E-O-U-S.
[1308.3s] E-O-U-S.
[1309.2s] This didn't come up in the last episode,
[1311.0s] but for all the intents and purposes,
[1314.5s] this is one of our provided NPCs
[1317.4s] by one of our patrons.
[1318.8s] Ooh.
[1319.9s] What?
[1320.7s] How did you not say anything?
[1321.7s] Because I forgot.
[1323.6s] Because there was a lot of,
[1325.0s] there was more than two lines of information
[1327.4s] that happened in that last episode.
[1328.4s] It's true.
[1329.8s] It's another quality DM moment brought to you by Ross.
[1332.8s] Yeah.
[1334.3s] That.
[1335.1s] So who, who gave us that?
[1336.0s] That was one Adam Farber.
[1338.6s] Also.
[1339.4s] Oh, we know him.
[1340.7s] Yeah.
[1341.5s] Of Bros and Dragons out of character.
[1345.0s] Wait, who?
[1347.0s] Adam.
[1348.8s] He gives us money for.
[1350.4s] Yeah, he gives us money for our podcast.
[1352.1s] I don't know if he gives you money for your podcast.
[1355.4s] Adam.
[1357.3s] At A-D-A-silent-Q-M.
[1363.6s] That's what throws me off every time.
[1365.9s] I know that guy.
[1367.2s] Yeah.
[1368.0s] Good guy, good guy.
[1369.4s] That's fantastic.
[1370.8s] Cremuple.
[1372.5s] Oh, I like it.
[1373.7s] A Nikoloth who is not frightened of the dragon
[1378.0s] is going to go and engage in battle with the knight.
[1383.3s] Prepare yourself.
[1384.1s] Prepare yourself.
[1385.2s] If he didn't try to hit me,
[1386.2s] I would have just accused him
[1387.3s] of looking over my character sheets too hard.
[1389.6s] Well, I mean, I don't,
[1390.7s] I mean, it's not like I have it up here or anything.
[1392.7s] I'm just kidding.
[1393.5s] I don't have it up here.
[1395.7s] He's gonna magically teleport right in front of you.
[1398.8s] And he's going to make his multi-attack swings
[1404.0s] with his greataxe.
[1405.5s] So he gets two greataxe swings at you there.
[1408.2s] Yeah, so he's a swinger.
[1409.7s] One is a crit 20.
[1412.1s] The other is an 18.
[1416.1s] So obviously the crit 20 will hit.
[1417.9s] Yeah.
[1418.9s] But the 18 will be deflected off of my armor.
[1422.2s] Marvelous.
[1423.4s] Good ass armor.
[1424.3s] I gotta get me some of that armor.
[1426.4s] Right.
[1427.5s] You also need to make a constitution saving throw
[1429.6s] there, Doc.
[1430.9s] You're not my real mom.
[1432.7s] 15 plus two is 17.
[1435.7s] 17 will succeed.
[1439.3s] But you should have failed it, so now you're dead.
[1442.0s] Sorry.
[1443.8s] 26 slashing damage,
[1447.5s] and you succeeded on the constitution saving throw.
[1453.2s] So you only need to take.
[1454.5s] 26, that's it?
[1456.0s] 26.
[1457.3s] Okay.
[1458.4s] Yeah.
[1459.2s] I wanted to have a character sheet,
[1460.2s] and then to be able to say 26, that's it.
[1463.8s] I can also say that with my character sheet.
[1466.4s] I know you can, Tom.
[1469.0s] We can't all be that awesome, though.
[1471.7s] Barely only half of us can.
[1473.6s] Black dragon circling ahead's turn.
[1477.0s] He is also going to let forth a bellowing roar
[1481.7s] down upon everybody.
[1483.6s] Are you sure he's not just singing Katy Perry's roar?
[1487.6s] He is now.
[1488.8s] Must also make a wisdom saving throw
[1491.5s] for this black dragon.
[1492.8s] You should probably bite his tongue and hold his breath.
[1499.0s] 20.
[1499.8s] So many rolls.
[1500.7s] I got this one out of the park, Russ, 18.
[1502.4s] I also got an 18.
[1505.5s] So I'm only scared of the dragon.
[1506.3s] Yeah, but did you have a minus one?
[1508.8s] Oh, wow.
[1509.9s] 21 for the knight and 23 for the blue dragon.
[1514.5s] Well, nobody's frightened of this black dragon.
[1517.0s] He just got blighted,
[1518.0s] so he's not on the top of his game.
[1520.0s] He's feeling a little bad.
[1521.0s] Okay, okay.
[1523.2s] Two of the Mesalas are going to,
[1525.4s] one is going to attack Thea,
[1526.8s] one is going to attack Flint.
[1529.8s] Thea, you have, just right up in front of you,
[1533.9s] one of these Mesalas, he's there,
[1536.2s] teleported with his.
[1537.3s] I poke him in the eyes.
[1538.3s] Smiling face.
[1539.6s] She takes her opportunity to attack.
[1542.6s] He lets out a shriek,
[1544.8s] but stabs you with his trident for a crit 20.
[1548.4s] Jesus Christ.
[1549.2s] How many crits are you rolling, Russ?
[1551.2s] 18, I'm just on.
[1552.5s] God damn it.
[1553.8s] I'm the guy who usually rolls crits.
[1556.5s] Which dice are those?
[1558.5s] Ah, these are, these are.
[1560.8s] Nothing special dice.
[1562.1s] They're nothing.
[1563.0s] So you asked me,
[1564.4s] you asked me if I'm rolling the dice you gave me,
[1566.4s] but you're not using the dice I gave you.
[1568.7s] I am rolling the dice you gave me.
[1570.3s] It's true.
[1571.1s] I just did not roll them on that turn.
[1572.8s] He's got it.
[1573.7s] I've got four D20s in front of me
[1575.1s] that I'm rotating through.
[1578.0s] So yours will be on the next one, don't worry.
[1579.4s] It'll be also a crit 20.
[1581.3s] We're off the defensive, aren't we?
[1584.2s] Yeah.
[1585.0s] Okay, so you're going to take a bunch of damage.
[1587.0s] I mean, I'm on your side.
[1590.2s] That's the classic,
[1591.1s] I'm going to need you to come in on Saturday.
[1594.6s] 17 piercing damage.
[1596.5s] God damn it.
[1598.6s] And the other Mesoloth is going to fly over to Flint.
[1606.8s] And look, I'm rolling docks D20.
[1609.6s] Crit fail, here we go.
[1611.4s] I'm witnessing it.
[1613.1s] It's a nat 20.
[1614.1s] It is.
[1615.0s] Look at that.
[1617.2s] Nat 20 and a, that's an 18.
[1621.6s] Am I being too mean to him tonight
[1623.2s] and he's overcompensating by doing really well?
[1625.3s] It's entirely possible.
[1626.2s] It must be.
[1628.4s] 18 piercing damage to you, dude.
[1630.5s] It's going to be interesting
[1631.6s] when Doc's the only person left alive
[1633.6s] and has to carry forward our podcast.
[1636.8s] Okay, so cult members eight through 15
[1641.4s] are going to rush over to the dragon and the knight.
[1645.6s] So the first four of those cult members
[1647.5s] are going to use their orb of dragon's breath,
[1651.2s] which they pull forward and use on the dragon.
[1655.7s] So the first orb of dragon's breath is an 11.
[1659.0s] There is a 24.
[1661.0s] There is a, that sucks, 12 and an 18.
[1665.2s] Against its, yeah.
[1667.3s] Sorry, against its AC.
[1668.8s] The 24 will hit.
[1670.0s] The rest of them in the words of a wise man,
[1672.3s] get that shit out of here.
[1673.7s] Is that Confucius?
[1674.8s] Is that who said that?
[1676.1s] I thought that was my grandpa.
[1677.8s] Tom Benson from the Bros and Dragons podcast.
[1680.2s] 33 damage to your dragon there, Doc.
[1683.0s] What kind of energy is that?
[1684.7s] That's going to be acid damage there.
[1686.8s] Okay.
[1688.2s] And then the remaining cult members
[1691.8s] are going to attack the knight
[1694.5s] with their short swords.
[1696.6s] So for their first strike, they get multi-attack as well.
[1699.2s] So there's, 14's not going to hit.
[1701.6s] Magic number's 20.
[1703.0s] Okay, so we got five total short sword attacks come in.
[1708.1s] The rest of the knight deflects and parries
[1711.4s] and has a good time doing 24 slashing damage there
[1715.8s] at you, Doc.
[1717.2s] That's it?
[1720.1s] Yeah, that's going to be it.
[1721.5s] All right.
[1722.4s] Thaddeus is up.
[1723.4s] He's just going to use his old war hammer
[1726.4s] because he's got a couple things right in front of him
[1728.8s] for a crit 20.
[1729.9s] Geez.
[1730.9s] Man, Russ, you are crazy tonight.
[1733.1s] I know.
[1734.0s] Someone's going to die tonight.
[1735.7s] He swings his war hammer down on the head
[1738.6s] of one of the cult members and crushes its skull.
[1741.7s] I was going to say, nothing's died recently, so.
[1744.2s] And it falls goopily down to the deck.
[1749.7s] I like that.
[1750.5s] Nularaaaa, you're up.
[1752.4s] Finally. Am I still frightened?
[1753.5s] Do I just stay frightened
[1754.8s] or how long is the effect of that?
[1757.4s] One minute, so 10 rounds.
[1758.8s] Okay, perfect.
[1761.8s] Totally still super frightened of the dragon
[1764.2s] that appears to be on our side.
[1765.8s] Not frightened of the dragon
[1767.4s] that's definitely trying to kill us, though.
[1769.3s] So I'm not sure how my brain's working.
[1771.8s] That's fine.
[1772.9s] I am going to assume
[1774.4s] there are still some cultists around me
[1776.1s] that I can just not face the dragon
[1778.1s] and still maybe kill some folks.
[1780.1s] Yeah, for sure. Great.
[1781.0s] That's what I'm going to do with Flametongue.
[1784.8s] That is a 28.
[1788.5s] 28. Yeah, that'll hit.
[1791.4s] Oh my God.
[1792.2s] These are the worst damage rolls
[1793.1s] that I could possibly roll. No, not again.
[1795.5s] Are they ones?
[1797.1s] Two ones and a two plus two, so six.
[1801.4s] Six damage on that first attack.
[1803.8s] And then second attack is a crit 20.
[1809.3s] Is it happening?
[1810.7s] It's happening.
[1811.6s] It's really exciting. I think it's happening.
[1812.9s] I feel it. I don't even know
[1813.8s] what happens when I get a crit 20.
[1815.8s] I think never happened before.
[1817.4s] Double damage.
[1819.2s] Okay.
[1820.2s] Oh yeah, double damage, but not bonuses.
[1823.4s] Is that real?
[1824.4s] Yeah, so your dice rolls are doubled,
[1826.4s] but your damage bonus stays the same.
[1828.6s] Okay, 15 for original damage.
[1834.4s] 14.
[1835.4s] I missed Donnie last time
[1836.8s] because I always just forget he exists
[1838.1s] because I'm a terrible beast master.
[1840.3s] But after you tell me what happens,
[1842.9s] he's going to try and go.
[1844.3s] Yeah, you strike one of these cult members
[1845.9s] and it is dead.
[1846.7s] Yay.
[1848.7s] Okay, Donnie's going to try and sting,
[1852.7s] sting one of the cultists.
[1856.4s] Which is a 16.
[1857.9s] Does he do it?
[1858.7s] Does he do it?
[1861.0s] That'd be a hit for Donnie.
[1863.8s] Donnie.
[1864.6s] So he gets three damage,
[1866.3s] cause it's just a little.
[1868.9s] But the target has to succeed on a con saving throw.
[1873.7s] Well, Donnie happened to strike one
[1875.8s] that had taken a lightning bolt earlier.
[1878.9s] Donnie with a killing blow.
[1881.0s] So.
[1881.8s] Is this Donnie's first kill?
[1882.7s] Probably.
[1883.6s] No, can't be.
[1885.1s] No, I think it might be.
[1886.6s] I mean, I know we fought a lot of Kobolds,
[1888.8s] but I think this might be it.
[1890.8s] Yeah.
[1891.6s] Oh my God, I'm so proud of him.
[1892.5s] Me too.
[1893.4s] Oh, Donnie.
[1894.9s] This is a big moment, you guys.
[1896.8s] With that triumphant strike that Donnie gives,
[1899.4s] it's the Knight's turn.
[1900.9s] The Nikelith is still in front of me, correct?
[1903.2s] Yes, yes he is.
[1904.2s] Not for long.
[1905.0s] All right, here we go.
[1906.4s] With the great sword attack, first attack.
[1910.4s] 18 plus eight is 26.
[1912.6s] That will hit.
[1917.4s] Oh, very nice.
[1920.0s] I like the sound of his dice.
[1920.8s] I know, it's so good.
[1922.3s] That's the Wyrmwood Tower.
[1923.8s] Thank you for Wyrmwood.
[1925.0s] Go to Wyrmwood.gaming.com and use bros
[1927.7s] as a checkout code and get free domestic shipping.
[1929.6s] All right, so.
[1930.6s] We're not domestic.
[1931.5s] That means nothing to me.
[1932.9s] Not in Canada.
[1934.0s] All right, so that'll be 16 on the first strike.
[1937.7s] And the second one will be,
[1939.7s] oh, look at this crit that I just rolled.
[1945.6s] And I actually have all the dice I need.
[1949.4s] Oh, six, six, two, five.
[1953.6s] So 19 plus three is 23.
[1958.1s] Excuse me, 22.
[1959.4s] And I need a constitution saving roll
[1961.5s] from that last hit.
[1964.0s] That's a 21.
[1966.1s] Oh, then he can cast next round.
[1968.6s] Great.
[1969.9s] And the Mesolath is gonna stab you there, Flint,
[1972.8s] with his trident.
[1976.0s] Couple stabs with you.
[1977.5s] 24 and a 13.
[1981.8s] The 24 hits, but not the 13.
[1984.6s] 12 piercing damage to you, sir.
[1987.4s] Blue Dragon's turn.
[1991.7s] Blue Dragon is gonna go ahead
[1993.0s] and help me out with this Nikoloth.
[1995.6s] Sure.
[1996.4s] That's gonna be a bite and two claws.
[1998.8s] The bite will be 19 to hit.
[2002.0s] 19 will hit.
[2006.0s] Nine piercing damage.
[2008.2s] Okay.
[2009.1s] First claw.
[2012.4s] 14, 21 to hit.
[2014.3s] I'm sure that's still.
[2015.2s] Yep.
[2017.7s] But only five slashing damage.
[2020.1s] And the last claw is, believe it or not, another crit.
[2026.5s] Just critting all over the place.
[2027.6s] Rolls with his dice tonight.
[2028.6s] Hey, Amy, my dice work.
[2030.3s] What's up with you?
[2031.9s] I don't need to roll.
[2038.0s] I don't know to what you are referring.
[2041.4s] That'll be another 13 damage.
[2044.5s] Okay.
[2045.6s] And then, am I assuming that the,
[2051.1s] Nularaaaa and Flint are spread out like circling?
[2056.9s] Thea is still on the broken ship.
[2061.3s] Nularaaaa is in front of the ship facing away from you
[2064.8s] and what's happening with you.
[2066.5s] And Flint is off to the left,
[2069.8s] your right of the ship also facing away from you.
[2073.4s] Okay.
[2074.2s] Then the dragon will fly up using its movement
[2078.7s] and land on the edge of the ship between the three of them
[2082.5s] to make sure if they're being attacked by frightened cultists
[2085.1s] that they would have to roll at disadvantage.
[2087.2s] Of course.
[2089.2s] All right.
[2090.1s] Smart.
[2093.7s] Okay, Flint, you're up.
[2096.8s] So there's a Nikeloth that's on me.
[2099.6s] Is that correct?
[2100.6s] You've got a Meseloth on you, not a Nikeloth.
[2103.3s] Yeah, there's only one Nikeloth and it's on the knight.
[2105.8s] Excellent.
[2106.6s] We'll take a swing at this Meseloth then.
[2110.9s] That is a 19.
[2112.5s] 19 will hit.
[2115.5s] Seven, 11 to 18, so 20 damage on that one.
[2121.2s] Okay.
[2123.5s] And Muzzle will go for a round two.
[2126.5s] That's a crit 20.
[2128.8s] 37 plus two is 39 damage.
[2132.0s] Beauty.
[2133.6s] Pew.
[2134.4s] Oh, my.
[2136.2s] In a second strong swipe,
[2139.2s] you strike through this cockroach looking Meseloth
[2144.5s] and it falls to the ground dead as well.
[2146.6s] Do you have any sort of fun catchphrase
[2148.9s] that you say when you kill him?
[2151.0s] Here's looking at you.
[2155.5s] So you're like toasting him?
[2157.0s] Are you guys having martinis?
[2158.8s] I mean, I always fight with a martini in one hand,
[2161.1s] don't you?
[2162.8s] Yeah, no, I'm fancy.
[2165.0s] Russ, I'm gonna throw a little healing surge my way.
[2168.2s] Yeah, sure.
[2169.7s] All right, eight.
[2171.6s] Add that back in.
[2173.0s] Doc, house rule, we do healing surges.
[2175.6s] You can use as a bonus action.
[2177.1s] You can just use a hit die plus con if you so desire.
[2181.2s] Oh, plus con, I forgot about that.
[2183.0s] Add informal.
[2183.8s] Sounds like a plan, yay.
[2186.0s] Thanks for the refresher, Russ.
[2188.1s] Yeah, everybody knows how to play the game.
[2190.4s] Thea, you're up.
[2192.3s] I'm going to, I'm just gonna try something.
[2195.7s] I'm going to cast gay ass.
[2200.9s] Gesh.
[2203.1s] That's what I said.
[2205.7s] Gesh, you told me I could say it however I want.
[2208.1s] You can say it however you want.
[2209.3s] No, it's fine, it's gesh.
[2210.8s] Anyway, I'm gonna place a magical command
[2212.8s] on the black dragon above me
[2216.3s] and try to force it to carry out my bidding.
[2220.4s] Okay.
[2222.2s] He sounds confident you can achieve that.
[2226.0s] I hate you.
[2227.4s] I hate you right now.
[2228.6s] If not now, when?
[2230.2s] Naked wisdom saving throw.
[2232.3s] Okay, I just gotta get to the page
[2234.1s] so I know which wisdom I'm gonna do.
[2236.7s] Minus seven, probably.
[2238.2s] Right, I'm pretty sure a dragon has minus seven wisdom.
[2242.4s] That is gonna be a 16.
[2245.9s] Hold on a second.
[2247.5s] Oh, it's not good enough.
[2250.5s] However.
[2251.5s] Oh my god.
[2254.6s] Legendary resistance.
[2256.4s] Legendary resistance, which all the dragons have.
[2260.6s] It's just gonna succeed.
[2261.8s] Punch you.
[2262.8s] I mean, this came up last dragon battle you had.
[2265.4s] That was like eight years ago, Russ.
[2267.6s] It was two episodes ago.
[2270.5s] You fought a sock dragon.
[2272.0s] Yeah, like eight years ago.
[2274.2s] Okay, well, I'd like to take that back then.
[2276.2s] I don't wanna do that.
[2279.8s] She didn't take your hand off the page.
[2281.3s] She can go back, it's okay.
[2282.8s] Well, that's it.
[2283.7s] Yeah, okay.
[2284.6s] Yeah, that's it.
[2287.2s] Fuck.
[2288.0s] So.
[2289.4s] I'm not mad or anything, I'm just disappointed.
[2291.3s] Yeah, that's fair.
[2292.2s] If you could mutter a little clearer
[2293.8s] into the microphone, Amy, I'd appreciate that.
[2296.8s] God damn it.
[2298.0s] Is that better?
[2298.9s] Yeah, that's much better.
[2299.8s] So you're looking around to all these bad things
[2302.4s] that are happening, clearly not to you,
[2305.4s] but if you counted them out,
[2306.8s] five of the cult members seem to draw in a level of energy
[2310.7s] and their short swords begin to glow.
[2314.0s] And two of them is their turn.
[2316.5s] One hops up onto the deck
[2318.6s] and goes to attack Thea with his short sword.
[2323.7s] Disadvantage.
[2325.0s] With disadvantage.
[2326.4s] So the first one is going to be a 20, not critical.
[2331.3s] Second one is going to be a 13.
[2335.8s] The 20 will hit.
[2336.7s] The 20 will hit.
[2337.7s] So you're gonna take nine piercing damage plus.
[2343.4s] Four glowing damage.
[2345.5s] 12 glowing damage, which so happens to be a fire,
[2350.6s] fire damage from its glowing sword.
[2354.0s] The other one is on Flint.
[2357.0s] And Flint is going to,
[2360.6s] that was a seven.
[2362.4s] Solid.
[2363.6s] With disadvantage.
[2365.4s] That's gonna be a 14 on its first strike
[2368.8s] and a 16 on its second strike.
[2371.8s] There was a critical in there too.
[2372.9s] Neither are good enough.
[2375.0s] Thanks, Doc.
[2375.9s] Two other cult members are rushing Nulara.
[2380.8s] Are they, are they feared from the dragon?
[2382.9s] Cause they can't rush.
[2383.7s] Oh, right.
[2384.6s] They can't rush that's towards the dragon.
[2386.6s] To be, yeah.
[2388.0s] So they just, they're gonna run towards the knight
[2391.9s] because he's not where the dragon is.
[2393.7s] I love it when Doc's on our podcast.
[2395.9s] It's the best.
[2396.8s] Right?
[2397.6s] I'd be dead by now, I'm sure.
[2398.7s] Yep.
[2399.6s] Guys, we need to read the rules more.
[2402.9s] So yeah, seeing the dragon,
[2404.8s] they turn around and bolt towards this knight.
[2408.2s] I actually love that you guys think
[2409.9s] this is the only trick I have up my sleeve.
[2412.1s] Oh dude.
[2415.0s] They're not gonna hit, they're not gonna hit you.
[2417.4s] They just run towards you
[2418.8s] and kind of throw their swords in the air
[2421.1s] and scream for Tiamat.
[2426.4s] But stop directly in front of you
[2427.6s] when they realize that they didn't do anything.
[2432.0s] The nightcloth's turn.
[2434.1s] Yeah, so it's going to,
[2436.5s] it's just gonna multi-attack you.
[2438.8s] So that's gonna be a 14.
[2440.8s] That's not gonna hit for the first,
[2442.5s] oh, these guys don't have
[2443.4s] to roll with disadvantage, do they?
[2445.3s] No, they do not.
[2446.1s] So what was your higher number?
[2447.8s] Neither of them.
[2449.4s] Yeah, it was like a 15.
[2451.2s] So it's just gonna magically teleport away.
[2459.8s] And this one wasn't actually afraid anyway.
[2462.0s] So it's gonna teleport back to the ship.
[2464.2s] Feel like a lot of things
[2465.4s] are coming back to the ship.
[2468.4s] Thea doesn't feel safe here anymore.
[2470.9s] Meseloth, who is afraid of the dragon,
[2473.2s] teleports over to the knight
[2477.8s] and it's going to cast cloud kill on the knight.
[2482.3s] So it creates a 20-foot radius sphere
[2485.3s] of poisonous yellow-green fog
[2486.9s] centered on the knight itself,
[2489.3s] the Constitution's saving throw.
[2492.0s] 19. I'm sorry,
[2493.0s] but doesn't he also have two idiots
[2496.6s] that have stopped directly in front of him
[2499.4s] that are probably also-
[2500.6s] Yeah, they're gonna take it as well.
[2501.9s] Oh, are they?
[2502.8s] Yeah, there's a whole bunch of cultists
[2504.4s] around them as well.
[2505.2s] They're gonna have to take this.
[2506.2s] This Meseloth, that can give a shit about no one.
[2508.0s] You don't give a fuck.
[2512.7s] You've been hanging out
[2513.6s] with the bros and dragons guys too much.
[2517.5s] So those that have succeeded
[2522.4s] take half a 24 damage at you there.
[2526.0s] Poison is-
[2526.9s] 12.
[2527.8s] Is 12, yeah.
[2529.1s] Oh no, it is so scary over here.
[2534.4s] And then something just shows up
[2537.4s] and kills Doc's character.
[2539.2s] No more for you.
[2540.0s] Wow.
[2540.9s] What a twist.
[2541.7s] I'm taunting the DM
[2542.6s] because I want everything to come at me
[2544.1s] and you guys should just kill them from the rear.
[2546.8s] Dirty.
[2547.7s] However you want to take that is on you, not me.
[2550.1s] Bia only takes it one way.
[2553.2s] Which is every way she can.
[2555.1s] Killed one of its cultists.
[2556.9s] Okay, so some of the cultists die.
[2561.0s] So this isn't really working out well
[2563.0s] for me trying to kill Doc.
[2564.9s] No, you're just killing your own people.
[2566.4s] Yeah.
[2567.6s] Or the Meseloth is killing its own people.
[2569.2s] The black dragon's gonna try
[2570.6s] and recharge its fire breath and it does.
[2574.7s] Or its breath weapon rather.
[2576.4s] So it's gonna shoot down.
[2578.6s] Oh fuck, I had to surround Doc,
[2580.1s] that's what I had to do.
[2582.1s] But you didn't.
[2584.7s] This dragon doesn't give a fuck.
[2586.4s] He's just there just to drop people off.
[2589.0s] I think the dragon knight just starts singing,
[2591.5s] I came in like a wrecking ball.
[2594.4s] And it shoots its acid breath weapon down.
[2596.7s] It's you there, knight.
[2600.1s] Dexterity saving throw.
[2602.5s] What's a crit 20 gonna do me for you?
[2604.4s] Nothing, nothing.
[2605.6s] You jerk face, 22.
[2607.5s] What do you mean jerk face?
[2608.7s] It's a tournament of endearment.
[2610.0s] It's an American thing, don't worry about it.
[2611.5s] Sure.
[2613.0s] So you're taking half a 54 there, knight.
[2616.4s] So it's gonna be 27.
[2619.2s] Finally.
[2620.5s] But yeah, in crossfire also kills a couple cultists.
[2625.0s] There's also a mesolith there, I'm just saying.
[2626.8s] He takes some damage too.
[2628.6s] It's Thaddeus's turn
[2630.2s] and he's gonna cast Cure Wounds on Thea.
[2633.8s] Oh, oh, I give him eyes.
[2637.6s] You know, bedroom eyes.
[2639.0s] Thaddeus didn't get it.
[2645.4s] Things I don't like hearing Tom say, Tom.
[2648.5s] Goodness gracious.
[2651.5s] So he's gonna cast that at a higher level, fourth level.
[2656.0s] Fourth level.
[2657.2s] So you're gonna get that.
[2658.0s] See, he's feeling all hot under the collar.
[2660.3s] 25 points back and then he's going to go check on Grancis
[2664.6s] he sees that he has not moved in a while.
[2668.4s] Maybe he wants to go check on that.
[2669.2s] Not one of us has checked on Grancis.
[2671.7s] We've been a little busy.
[2673.2s] It's true.
[2674.1s] It's true.
[2675.4s] Nulara, you're up.
[2676.4s] Yay.
[2678.2s] What's near me now?
[2682.2s] Bunch of things have died since this is my turn last.
[2685.3s] Everything's dead or on the night.
[2687.5s] So what is on you?
[2690.8s] You've got one of the cult of the dragon guys
[2694.8s] with the glowy swords in direct vicinity to you.
[2699.0s] And that's probably the only guy.
[2700.4s] Great, let's start there.
[2701.4s] Within immediate concern.
[2703.4s] Yep.
[2704.8s] Well, that was not good.
[2706.7s] Well, 14.
[2708.4s] 14, build that guy.
[2710.8s] 14 will not hit.
[2713.6s] Okay, I'll try again.
[2716.7s] 13, how about a 13?
[2718.8s] A 13.
[2720.0s] 13?
[2720.8s] No.
[2721.7s] 13's still not gonna hit.
[2722.9s] Well, this didn't go well.
[2724.2s] That was a very short, sad turn.
[2726.9s] Come on, Donnie.
[2728.1s] Did he flip him off for like, do the like?
[2730.2s] Donnie's gonna do something amazing.
[2731.5s] Donnie is not gonna do something amazing
[2733.4s] because he also rolled a 14.
[2736.1s] I guess we're just tired.
[2737.6s] This is a tiring fight.
[2739.5s] He wants to be just like you.
[2740.4s] Okay, well, that was real fun.
[2742.2s] Thanks, thanks guys.
[2743.7s] I'll just be over here.
[2744.7s] Night, you're up.
[2746.2s] We waited a long time for that.
[2748.9s] I am going to try to kill
[2751.0s] this ugly looking Mesoloth in front of me.
[2753.3s] Yeah, seems fair.
[2756.5s] 26 to hit.
[2757.5s] Yep.
[2759.2s] 14.
[2760.7s] Okay.
[2761.6s] And second, 24.
[2766.4s] For 11 points of slashing.
[2770.5s] Okay.
[2771.6s] And a constitution saving roll, please.
[2774.8s] Oh, that's not gonna succeed.
[2777.3s] Nope, I'm not even gonna look up the modifier.
[2779.0s] It doesn't succeed.
[2781.2s] That target cannot cast any spells
[2783.3s] until the end of its next turn.
[2785.0s] Sounds good, blue dragon.
[2786.8s] The dragon will start murmuring
[2789.0s] in a deep, thunderous voice,
[2791.3s] and then all of a sudden four blue dragons are there.
[2795.2s] They cast mirror image on itself.
[2797.3s] Ninzah.
[2802.3s] Flint, you're up.
[2803.2s] Four blue dragons.
[2805.8s] But they're all still behind me, right?
[2807.6s] They're all still behind you.
[2808.8s] Perfect.
[2810.4s] How many glowy sword motherfuckers are in front of me?
[2813.4s] You got one of them.
[2814.6s] Oh, yeah.
[2816.4s] There's one there, two there, one there.
[2818.3s] Yeah, one of them is on you.
[2819.7s] All right, I'm taking them out.
[2822.9s] It's a grit 20.
[2825.0s] That will hit.
[2828.1s] Mathematically speaking, tonight should not have happened.
[2831.1s] No.
[2832.9s] So 26 damage on that first attack.
[2835.6s] Yep.
[2837.7s] And 17.
[2839.0s] 17 will also hit, yep.
[2841.0s] Okay.
[2842.9s] 10, eight and two is 20.
[2846.5s] Thea, you're up.
[2847.4s] Ah, it's me.
[2848.5s] Wait, that dude's still alive?
[2850.7s] Oh, yeah.
[2851.5s] Huh, all right.
[2852.6s] Oh, look who's full of himself.
[2855.2s] I'm gonna try to kill someone this turn
[2856.0s] and I'm disappointed.
[2858.8s] Well, I mean, previous cultists
[2860.4s] fell to very similar damage, so.
[2862.8s] Yeah, maybe they're different.
[2865.6s] Who knows?
[2866.5s] Okay, I need to do something
[2868.9s] because I totally flopped last time.
[2871.1s] And I might flop again this time, but we will see.
[2875.6s] So I'm going to take my long bow.
[2881.0s] I am going to take one of the two dragon arrows I have.
[2889.1s] Is this your oath bow?
[2890.9s] Yeah, it's my oath bow.
[2893.2s] Sorry, I said long bow, I meant oath bow.
[2896.2s] And I'm going to say that this dragon is my sworn foe.
[2904.2s] There's actually something you need to say.
[2905.8s] Oh my God, okay, fine, I'll say it.
[2907.8s] I say swift death to those who have wronged me.
[2914.6s] And then I'm also going to cast Searing Smite
[2922.4s] on the arrow, which is going to add an extra 1d6
[2929.0s] fire damage.
[2929.8s] Isn't that a melee thing?
[2931.5s] Oh, yeah, fine, I won't do that.
[2934.3s] Always spoiling things, Russ.
[2936.7s] I know, but cool overrule, is that not a?
[2942.6s] No, it's fine.
[2944.0s] No, it's fine.
[2945.3s] Okay, so with my oath bow, I'm going to try modern dust.
[2951.2s] That means I have to roll, prepare yourself, Doc,
[2955.8s] to see if I can do this.
[2957.8s] Also, I can't remember for the life of me
[2960.2s] what that dragon arrow does
[2962.0s] because I didn't write it down,
[2962.9s] so you're going to have to help me out.
[2965.2s] It is a 19.
[2967.6s] 19 just hits the dragon.
[2973.9s] Okay, so it's 3d6 plus.
[2979.9s] A million.
[2981.2s] What, plus something having to do with the dragon arrow?
[2984.6s] Okay, so it's 15 damage,
[2986.6s] which is just like the pokey kind.
[2988.5s] Yeah.
[2989.3s] Officially speaking, the pokey kind.
[2991.4s] Yes, it's the technical term, right?
[2994.6s] We know how to play.
[2997.0s] We're so good at the rules, guys.
[2998.8s] Oh my god, so good at the rules.
[3001.9s] Dragon takes 6d10 extra damage
[3005.2s] on a failed constitution saving throw.
[3008.1s] Okay, make a constitution saving throw.
[3009.5s] Does he take half that damage?
[3011.2s] Legendary resistance,
[3012.6s] as he's going to save that.
[3014.6s] Well then what the fuck is it a dragon slaying arrow for
[3017.4s] if dragons have legendary resistance?
[3021.0s] She's got you there, Russ.
[3022.2s] She's got me there.
[3023.1s] Explain it to me.
[3025.5s] They only have three?
[3026.4s] That's a good thing.
[3027.2s] Yeah, so eventually they run out
[3028.5s] and then you use your stuff
[3030.1s] that requires them to save.
[3032.0s] But I mean, it's still gonna take half of your 6d10s, so.
[3036.4s] Good, well it takes 15 of my pokey next.
[3038.8s] Yeah.
[3040.4s] 36.
[3042.6s] Half of 36?
[3043.5s] Half of 36.
[3045.8s] Plus my 15 pokey.
[3048.4s] Yeah, I got your 15 pokey.
[3049.2s] Okay, just making sure.
[3050.1s] Don't you dare forget the pokey.
[3051.8s] This is the most damage I've rolled.
[3054.1s] In a while.
[3054.9s] Why?
[3055.8s] I mean, the arrow actually hit.
[3058.0s] So that Nikoloth, he's on the ship in front of you.
[3061.0s] It's okay.
[3061.9s] He doesn't like that.
[3062.7s] But likes what the dragon did.
[3065.1s] So it too is gonna cast mirror image,
[3067.6s] not stealing anybody's ideas.
[3071.4s] Wait, I thought this thing couldn't cast,
[3073.4s] oh, it'll see the other one.
[3074.3s] No, that's the Mesoloth on the night.
[3076.3s] Gotcha.
[3077.3s] So now there are a whole bunch of dragons
[3080.2s] and seemingly a whole bunch of Nikoloths
[3083.4s] right in front of you.
[3084.4s] May I ask a question?
[3085.6s] You can ask all the questions.
[3087.6s] So with the Nikoloths is, okay,
[3089.8s] is this like a situation where one of them
[3093.2s] is the real one?
[3094.3s] Yeah.
[3095.2s] Yes, you'll have to roll a D20
[3097.1s] if you physically attack it.
[3098.3s] To figure out which one of it it hits.
[3101.0s] Yeah.
[3101.9s] And if it hits the wrong one,
[3102.7s] he doesn't take any damage?
[3104.3s] If it hits the wrong one,
[3105.4s] one of the mirror images just disappears.
[3107.3s] Disappears.
[3108.1s] Okay, so it's okay.
[3110.1s] Okay, so Nikoloth cast mirror image
[3112.1s] is a whole bunch of Nikoloths on the deck
[3115.6s] of the destroyed ship.
[3119.1s] The Mesoloth, the final standing Mesoloth,
[3122.0s] can't cast anything,
[3123.1s] but is going to attack the knight
[3124.7s] with its pokey trident.
[3126.4s] Hey, that's my word.
[3129.1s] With its sticky trident.
[3130.7s] Ew, why is it sticky?
[3132.5s] Yeah, gross.
[3133.4s] So I'm gonna die of sepsis if I don't die in the fight.
[3138.0s] Oh, 100%, yeah.
[3140.2s] So it's trident strikes for a 24,
[3143.6s] followed by its claws for a 21,
[3146.1s] so nine and seven piercing and slashing.
[3148.8s] Okay.
[3149.6s] Blood is now flowing from underneath the armor,
[3152.4s] but the knight is still standing valiantly.
[3154.8s] I like it.
[3155.7s] It's the black dragon's turn
[3157.6s] who does not recharge its breath weapon,
[3160.1s] but having taken an arrow of dragon slaying says,
[3163.1s] oh, fuck this.
[3165.4s] And he flies away, leaving his.
[3167.6s] Dragon's got a hilarious voice.
[3170.0s] He doesn't like it.
[3171.6s] Yeah, should've talked to him more.
[3173.6s] He started fighting us.
[3175.1s] We didn't have the chance to talk to him.
[3176.8s] And he begins to fly away.
[3179.0s] So the two cult members on the knight,
[3182.4s] it's their turn,
[3183.4s] and they swing their swords at the knight.
[3186.1s] It's one of the members, Ian Asprey.
[3188.8s] Who's that?
[3190.3s] He's the lead singer of the cult.
[3192.2s] Oh, yeah, sorry.
[3194.8s] One of them has something to say.
[3198.6s] He yells out.
[3200.8s] He's just like, you know, we came in strong,
[3204.2s] and then it really just.
[3205.8s] Is he yelling this?
[3206.7s] Yeah, yeah.
[3207.6s] It really just took a turn,
[3210.2s] and I wish it would've gone better.
[3211.6s] No, he says, screaming out to the ether,
[3215.3s] he says, the masks are joined.
[3218.4s] The call has sounded.
[3220.6s] Soon the gates of the nine hells shall swing wide,
[3223.9s] and she shall return,
[3226.4s] striking its swords.
[3230.6s] Sword swings.
[3231.6s] There's a 20, not critical,
[3233.5s] and the other one strikes as well,
[3235.5s] for a 25 and a 26.
[3238.1s] Who are they striking?
[3239.3s] The knight.
[3240.2s] Oh. The knight.
[3241.6s] Look at all these ones.
[3243.9s] That's not good.
[3246.3s] Yeah, it's perfect.
[3247.2s] What do you mean, it's not good?
[3249.8s] So that's three.
[3250.7s] So for the first one that hits,
[3252.0s] that's three,
[3253.0s] and eight.
[3256.4s] No, not, yeah, three.
[3257.7s] Three and eight.
[3259.0s] So that's 11 for the first one.
[3263.3s] Then that's going to be,
[3265.6s] so 15 for the second one,
[3268.2s] 23 for the third one.
[3270.9s] Oh, shoot.
[3271.7s] Okay.
[3273.1s] Uh-oh.
[3274.2s] Well, since Russ is just picking on me,
[3275.9s] I'm down to three hit points.
[3278.6s] Oh, dear.
[3281.1s] Did say someone is gonna die tonight.
[3283.6s] I didn't think it'd be you.
[3284.6s] Thaddeus is busy tending to Grancis.
[3289.2s] Nularaaaa, it's your turn.
[3290.7s] Yay.
[3293.2s] Yay, I wanna have a turn.
[3296.3s] Is there still a cultist by me?
[3297.9s] Is there still anything by me?
[3299.1s] What can I hit with my sword?
[3301.4s] Yeah, there's a cultist right beside you
[3302.8s] that you were trying to hit previously.
[3305.0s] Great, that's a 17.
[3306.5s] Does that hit?
[3308.4s] Yeah.
[3309.3s] Yay. Yeah.
[3310.7s] Okay, it's 10 damage on that one.
[3313.4s] I'm going to attack again.
[3316.0s] That is awesome. Do it, murder him.
[3319.3s] 17, so that is two.
[3322.6s] Not murder if it's justified.
[3324.3s] 16 damage on that one.
[3327.0s] Donnie's gonna swoop in for an attempted chomping.
[3334.9s] That's a 16 from Donnie.
[3337.2s] 16?
[3338.2s] 16, yeah, 16 is good.
[3339.9s] What's up?
[3341.6s] He's doing the best tonight.
[3342.8s] He is doing the best.
[3343.9s] He got six damage on that one,
[3346.4s] which is the max amount he can get,
[3350.7s] and then a con saving throw for that guy.
[3353.9s] That's an eight.
[3355.2s] Donnie's having the best night of his whole life
[3359.1s] because that means that he has poisoned him,
[3364.0s] so now he is unconscious.
[3366.0s] Way to go, Donnie.
[3366.8s] Okay, so I will mark that down, unconscious,
[3371.0s] until he is aroused.
[3374.3s] For what?
[3375.2s] For frozen, whoa.
[3377.0s] He's having a very provocative dream
[3379.3s] and he just wakes up.
[3382.4s] Holy moly.
[3383.9s] And Thea's here, so keep your weapons strong.
[3387.7s] Thea goes nowhere near him.
[3389.8s] One hour, or one hour.
[3395.1s] All right.
[3396.0s] Give him at least an hour to get aroused.
[3397.2s] This is not worth it.
[3399.6s] Night, you're up.
[3400.4s] Standing true, but now having blood
[3402.7s] coming from underneath his armor,
[3404.3s] and it's gushing now.
[3406.3s] The blue dragon will hear his call.
[3409.4s] Is it my turn or his?
[3410.4s] I think it's his turn, isn't it?
[3411.6s] It's the night's.
[3412.4s] Yeah, blue dragon comes after.
[3413.9s] Oh, well good.
[3415.8s] And maybe the night doesn't need the dragon
[3417.4s] to come over.
[3420.0s] Critical.
[3421.4s] Marvelous.
[3423.2s] So first strike will be 22 points of damage.
[3427.2s] Okay.
[3428.1s] My second strike, not a critical,
[3430.7s] but still a good 19.
[3432.6s] Yeah.
[3433.4s] Nice.
[3434.2s] For another 15 points of damage,
[3435.7s] and I need a con saving roll from that Mesilov.
[3439.2s] Sorry, the Mesilov is dead.
[3440.6s] It's gone.
[3441.9s] Oh, on the first or second strike?
[3443.3s] On the second strike.
[3444.8s] Gosh darn it.
[3445.7s] Yeah.
[3446.5s] And yeah, I'm going to graciously
[3448.1s] take that healing surge.
[3449.4s] Yeah, for sure.
[3450.5s] And then it's your dragon strike.
[3452.6s] Dragon's turn, once you've done that.
[3453.4s] And he, sensing my hurt, will fly over,
[3458.6s] away from home, leaving them undefended,
[3460.8s] but will land and has recharged
[3463.8s] his breath weapon a while ago,
[3465.3s] but I was holding on to it.
[3466.6s] And he will lightning the other,
[3469.0s] I think two cultists that are on me?
[3470.6s] Yep.
[3471.9s] So a dexterity saving roll.
[3476.9s] Seven and a 17.
[3480.4s] The 17 will make it.
[3482.6s] For half, 23 lightning,
[3486.6s] and half will be what, 21?
[3490.4s] Oh, I'm sorry, 11?
[3491.2s] Sure.
[3492.0s] I like that.
[3492.9s] I was going to say, that's not bad.
[3493.7s] I like the way your math works.
[3494.9s] I like that.
[3495.7s] Even with that mess up, Russ,
[3496.9s] I did a little quicker than some people I understand.
[3499.9s] You did your quick and you did your mess up quicker.
[3503.6s] Are the cultists alive?
[3505.7s] Yeah, the cultists are alive.
[3507.8s] Both?
[3508.6s] Both.
[3509.6s] Okay.
[3510.8s] Okay.
[3512.2s] Hopefully they're scared.
[3514.4s] These ones, I think killed all the ones that weren't.
[3518.2s] No, those ones that rushed over were afraid.
[3520.0s] So yeah, they are scared.
[3522.2s] Then the dragon will use,
[3524.1s] cause he had 80 and flight.
[3525.6s] I'm sure it wasn't 80 feet away.
[3527.7s] Nope.
[3528.5s] He'll use the rest of his moment
[3529.3s] to get behind me, movement, excuse me.
[3530.8s] Sure.
[3531.7s] Flint, you're up.
[3533.0s] All right.
[3533.9s] And there's still that guy in front of me?
[3535.5s] Yeah.
[3536.6s] All right.
[3537.4s] You know what's coming then.
[3539.4s] 19.
[3541.8s] Sweet lady death is coming.
[3544.2s] 22.
[3545.8s] Okay.
[3549.1s] Really, still?
[3550.2s] Yeah.
[3551.2s] Okay.
[3552.1s] All right.
[3553.2s] There's a reason that these guys
[3554.2s] are still standing in those.
[3555.8s] It's another 19.
[3557.9s] 19 will hit.
[3559.3s] Four and seven's 11 and two is 13.
[3565.4s] Okay.
[3566.6s] And I'm gonna use my action surge
[3568.5s] cause this fucker's still alive
[3569.8s] and I'm gonna attack him again.
[3571.6s] Seems fair.
[3573.6s] 24, so that'll hit.
[3575.4s] Yeah.
[3576.5s] Nine and 11 is 20.
[3579.3s] 22.
[3581.6s] Okay.
[3583.5s] You've gotta be kidding me.
[3584.9s] Wow.
[3586.5s] No, no.
[3587.7s] He takes a knee, but he's still,
[3589.5s] he's still alive.
[3591.3s] Whew, he's still at deep breath.
[3593.3s] I hope there's not an anthem playing anymore.
[3597.2s] He holds his hand up in his finger.
[3599.6s] Give me like one minute.
[3604.3s] Took the breath out of him there.
[3605.6s] In that case, I'm also gonna,
[3606.9s] I'm also gonna healing surge while I'm here.
[3609.5s] Yeah, for sure.
[3610.3s] Might as well.
[3611.6s] Thea, you're up.
[3612.4s] Does he yell out like a little,
[3613.8s] like a verse, take my breath away.
[3616.8s] Exactly.
[3619.9s] Okay, who's on me?
[3621.6s] You have, you're surrounded by
[3623.7s] a whole bunch of Nikeloths.
[3625.0s] Ooh.
[3626.9s] Be still my heart.
[3629.6s] All right.
[3630.6s] I'm gonna fuck him up with some moonbeam.
[3632.8s] I'm going to use my fourth spell slot.
[3637.9s] Okay.
[3638.8s] Okay.
[3639.6s] I'm going to focus on the jackass,
[3642.7s] like in front of me.
[3643.6s] I assume that when he,
[3646.6s] the Nikeloth multiplied himself,
[3650.2s] like it came from one to one.
[3652.2s] Yeah.
[3653.1s] Yeah, so I'm just gonna go for the middle one
[3654.0s] because it just seems.
[3655.0s] Sure.
[3655.8s] How many of them are there?
[3656.7s] Three?
[3657.5s] There are four.
[3658.5s] Three duplicates came out of him.
[3661.8s] That doesn't speak well to symmetry
[3664.6s] and Thea doesn't like it.
[3667.4s] Sure, so yeah, you roll and two of those motherfuckers
[3671.1s] go poof and there are still two left.
[3673.2s] And where are the other two?
[3674.6s] Like one to the far right and just one to the left?
[3677.1s] Yeah.
[3679.1s] Okay.
[3680.9s] He says with confidence, yes.
[3683.1s] Yes, absolutely.
[3685.5s] You hear from behind you,
[3690.6s] muttering kind of a low murmur
[3693.4s] or some sort of incantation from,
[3696.4s] that's been going on from Thaddeus
[3697.9s] as he's tending to Grancis.
[3702.3s] And you kind of hear a glowing ringing noise.
[3708.9s] Like a.
[3711.5s] Oh, like one of those bowls that you like.
[3714.0s] Yeah.
[3714.8s] Like with the.
[3715.7s] And you turn around and Grancis is just churning it,
[3718.1s] but no.
[3718.9s] And I'm like, stop it.
[3719.8s] Yeah, no.
[3720.8s] You turn around and all who hear it and look,
[3725.3s] which is pretty much everybody,
[3727.3s] see Grancis rising from the deck and glowing.
[3733.9s] Thaddeus looks at,
[3735.8s] he stops murmuring whatever he was saying
[3738.8s] and looks a bit confused as to what's happening
[3742.6s] and Grancis raises up off the deck
[3746.7s] and lets forth many lightning bolts
[3751.9s] that come from what seemed to be his life energy.
[3757.8s] And these lightning bolts shoot forward
[3760.0s] into each of the creatures still left standing.
[3765.2s] And all of those creatures
[3768.0s] in the instant that they're struck,
[3769.6s] drop to the ground dead.
[3771.8s] I can't believe Russ gave Grancis a heroic death
[3774.8s] to spite us.
[3776.2s] I know.
[3779.7s] You look and you see them fall
[3783.3s] and you see Grancis's essence
[3787.7s] scatter into the ether.
[3793.1s] And you hear,
[3795.4s] I'll always be with you, always.
[3801.8s] Grancis, no, hey, I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More.
[3809.1s] Thank you for joining us for episode 31
[3811.1s] of Dumbgeons and Dragons titled Things Go Sideways.
[3817.2s] Yeah, I'm Russ More and I'll see you next time.
[3832.0s] Which kinda just, you know,
[3834.7s] it should be a subtitle for every episode of our podcast.
[3838.9s] No?
[3840.5s] This episode features our guest star,
[3843.3s] who you're right, I may have tried to kill
[3846.0s] throughout part of this battle, my bad.
[3848.7s] But we will talk with Doc
[3850.1s] about where you can find him in a brief moment.
[3852.6s] You can check out our Patreon tiers
[3854.1s] and rewards at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[3856.8s] If you're new to the dumb dragon community,
[3858.6s] or if you've never done so before,
[3860.2s] we would greatly appreciate you dropping us
[3862.0s] a five star rating and review on Apple Podcasts
[3865.0s] or Stitcher or Podknife,
[3867.1s] which is the newer podcast site
[3868.9s] that allows anyone to leave a review.
[3870.8s] You can sign up for an account through Podknife
[3872.6s] and leave your reviews for our show
[3874.5s] or any show they have listed,
[3876.7s] as reviews help independent podcasters
[3879.0s] get seen and heard a lot more,
[3881.4s] which helps everybody grow.
[3882.7s] So if you have a podcast who you appreciate,
[3885.5s] be it us or somebody else,
[3887.4s] a review certainly goes a long way.
[3889.3s] Let's take a moment to talk to Doc here.
[3890.8s] Doc, thank you for joining us so much.
[3893.8s] Thanks, Doc.
[3894.6s] Thank you so much.
[3895.7s] It was so great to have you.
[3897.3s] It was fun.
[3898.2s] Thank you for letting me break out a home brew.
[3899.9s] And yeah, just want to tell us
[3903.0s] where we can find you and Bros and Dragons.
[3905.3s] I mean, we talk about you pretty much like every episode.
[3907.7s] You can follow me on Facebook and Twitter at IMDM Doc.
[3910.8s] You can follow Bros and Dragons at Bros and Dragons
[3913.4s] on any social media event.
[3914.8s] And obviously you can find any information
[3918.0s] about all of us at brosanddragons.com.
[3926.2s] No, Thea's one true love.
[3928.9s] I swat away his essence.
[3931.6s] It's canon now.
[3932.5s] It's canon.
[3933.3s] It's been established.
[3934.1s] Nah.
[3936.0s] Just cause you say it doesn't make a canon.
[3938.0s] No, I'm pretty sure that's how it works.
[3941.6s] And you're left standing in the wreck of the airship
[3945.4s] with all the cult members dead at your feet.
[3949.0s] What do you guys do?
[3949.9s] Thea finds herself a little bit more upset about Grancis
[3954.2s] than she thought she would be.
[3955.9s] But she walks over to Thaddeus
[3960.0s] and puts a hand on his shoulder and like, you know,
[3963.6s] like sorry, man.
[3964.8s] Also like, woof, woof, right?
[3967.2s] Yeah, I don't know what happened.
[3972.2s] I mean, he was a powerful wizard and all,
[3973.8s] but he's kind of a lot of practice.
[3976.4s] So not sure what happened there.
[3980.1s] Oh my God, was that a spell gone wrong?
[3983.8s] You've seen stranger things happen with him.
[3985.6s] Holy shit, Grancis.
[3988.8s] Who's that dragon guy?
[3991.0s] Oh, that's a good question.
[3992.5s] Excuse me, metal clad sir, what is your name?
[3998.9s] He takes off his helmet,
[4001.6s] throws it, because he's kneeling on the ground,
[4003.6s] supporting himself with his great sword.
[4005.4s] His blood seems to just pour forth and.
[4009.3s] And your name is what I'm concerned about.
[4012.1s] And he looks up and goes,
[4015.9s] sorry, I cannot be of more chivalry.
[4021.0s] My name is Sir Largot Willowden.
[4024.5s] Cool, how you doing over there?
[4028.9s] I've had better days.
[4031.2s] Thaddeus sees him struggling quite a lot
[4034.3s] and sees everybody has taken some damage
[4036.4s] and he casts mask cure wounds on everybody
[4040.6s] at a high enough spell slot to do some good
[4044.2s] for all that are happening.
[4048.8s] So.
[4050.0s] Is he within a 30 foot radius of all of us because.
[4052.5s] Well, I'm assuming.
[4053.3s] Well, we're out of combat now.
[4054.6s] So I assume we'd all kind of wander over together.
[4058.0s] Or I'll wander over to the.
[4060.6s] To the night.
[4062.0s] To the poor night.
[4062.9s] Yeah, since he's the furthest away.
[4065.3s] No, you come to us.
[4069.0s] Everybody regains 37 HPs.
[4074.0s] I squeeze Thaddeus' bicep like, thanks, man.
[4078.0s] Yeah, yeah.
[4080.6s] You're welcome.
[4081.6s] I think it's sweet because by appearances,
[4084.2s] he is a human in his late 70s.
[4086.5s] So it seems like a strange pairing.
[4089.0s] But I mean, really, Thea's very old.
[4092.5s] Like she ages.
[4093.6s] So, you know, he's still probably kind of,
[4096.2s] he's a lot younger than her still.
[4098.3s] Even though he's a super, super, super old dude.
[4101.6s] It's really sweet, Thea.
[4103.2s] It's true.
[4104.4s] Thea does not judge based upon age.
[4108.9s] Well, I feel refreshed now that I'm not one third dead.
[4114.7s] You guys?
[4115.9s] Oh, I feel great.
[4116.7s] I'm at full, like, working capacity here.
[4119.5s] So I guess I go over and I help up our new friend.
[4123.9s] And I say, thank you.
[4127.2s] What brings you, or not what brings you here?
[4130.1s] We brought us here.
[4133.3s] We're looking for the, like,
[4135.4s] we're here to meet with some, like, metallic dragons.
[4139.2s] No, you're not.
[4140.0s] No, we're not.
[4140.9s] Thea doesn't know what we're doing.
[4142.5s] Thea can't remember what we're doing.
[4145.2s] We're going to Nerenvane?
[4146.6s] We're here to find Nerenvane, aren't we?
[4148.0s] We are.
[4148.8s] No, yes.
[4149.6s] Yeah, we're here to see if Nerenvane
[4150.9s] is a good guy or a bad guy.
[4152.2s] You know him?
[4153.2s] Okay, well, I guess someone else needs to start talking.
[4156.9s] It shouldn't be me.
[4158.3s] I know not, I know not that name.
[4160.4s] I am sorry.
[4161.8s] Can you take us to the Misty Forest?
[4165.1s] Hey, thank you for all your help and almost dying.
[4168.8s] Can we use you?
[4169.6s] One other favor.
[4171.5s] Well, okay, maybe, maybe can you show us the way
[4175.2s] our craft has been, well, demolished.
[4179.0s] And it is very important that we get to the Misty Forest.
[4183.3s] I would be glad to, but we should set up camp here.
[4189.3s] The destroyed airship that you use
[4193.2s] probably would do for good cover,
[4195.5s] but I cannot travel at this moment.
[4199.6s] And my friend here, and I reach up and pet my dragon,
[4202.6s] can only take but one rider at a time.
[4205.6s] That's not a problem.
[4207.1s] We have a magical owl that we can ride,
[4209.6s] it's quite all right.
[4210.8s] But we understand your need to rest
[4213.2s] and we can set up camp for the night.
[4216.7s] Look how understanding I am.
[4219.2s] Well, it's maybe slightly like to mourn our friend.
[4222.1s] As much as he drove us crazy,
[4223.6s] he did just die, let's set up overnight.
[4227.3s] So we're in agreement, yes?
[4229.5s] Yes, yes.
[4230.6s] Sorry, I nodded.
[4231.6s] I nod way too much for an audio.
[4234.6s] Visual cues on an audio podcast, so good.
[4240.3s] Ligar, Ligar don't reach up
[4242.2s] and just grab the neck of his dragon
[4244.2s] looking at him in the eyes
[4245.4s] and the dragon will fly off the direction
[4247.5s] that the black dragon was heading.
[4250.6s] Okay.
[4252.0s] So yeah, the dragon flies off towards the black dragon
[4255.9s] and then you guys kind of just set up shop,
[4261.6s] use some of the wood.
[4263.3s] And Thaddeus says, wait, what about,
[4265.7s] no, that's not his voice.
[4266.8s] No, no.
[4267.7s] I feel like I'm channeling Grancis all of a sudden.
[4270.4s] I feel really sad.
[4271.6s] I'm not gonna get to hear you use that voice.
[4273.5s] Oh, well.
[4274.5s] I mean, in our defense,
[4276.1s] we should not have asked for Russ
[4278.8s] to do a Christopher Lloyd based voice.
[4281.3s] Yeah, no, in retrospect, that was our bad.
[4285.7s] He says, I'm gonna go check
[4289.4s] and see what we can salvage from the ship here
[4292.1s] you guys set up.
[4293.6s] And you used cover from the ship
[4297.6s] and set up a fire and...
[4301.0s] He asks, so where do you come from, Sir Ligart?
[4306.2s] A small farming community many, many miles from here.
[4310.0s] You probably have never heard of such a thing.
[4312.6s] Of a farm?
[4315.1s] Of where I live, yes.
[4317.0s] Okay.
[4318.4s] Have these dragon attacks been happening a lot recently?
[4322.7s] They have been becoming more frequent.
[4326.2s] That is why my friend and I are here.
[4329.6s] Lord Bahamut has deemed it that we come
[4332.8s] and help the weak in these times around here
[4335.0s] and try to find out if that vile thing Tiamat
[4339.7s] and he spits on the ground
[4342.2s] is trying to make her way back into this world or not.
[4346.3s] Well, you heard that one cultist screaming
[4349.6s] about the masks and things though, right?
[4351.5s] Like it's a coming.
[4353.4s] It can be stopped.
[4354.8s] My Lord has told me this,
[4356.7s] that there are those out there that have a chance.
[4359.4s] Oh God, is it us?
[4363.0s] Might be, it might be us.
[4365.1s] Rawr rawr.
[4366.0s] Shit.
[4367.2s] Ooh.
[4368.9s] You could call me Sir Wilderdon or Ligards,
[4372.7s] but God is a little bit much, don't you think?
[4378.4s] We are charged with the task of stopping Tiamat's arrival.
[4387.4s] Guess we could say that.
[4390.9s] Who is your God?
[4391.9s] What information can you give us?
[4394.3s] I serve the Lord Bahamut himself.
[4397.6s] Correct me if I'm wrong.
[4398.4s] He's the head metallic dragon, is that correct?
[4401.2s] He's the dragon God of good.
[4403.4s] Ah, there we go.
[4404.6s] Tom, no stuff.
[4406.4s] I've played games before.
[4410.2s] But yeah, he is visually the platinum dragon,
[4413.4s] so you're right.
[4414.6s] Ligard, any tips on helping stop the rise of Tiamat?
[4419.8s] Well, if I know the different people of this world,
[4422.2s] you are not the only ones tasked
[4424.0s] with making sure she does not come forth.
[4427.0s] Thank God.
[4428.6s] As for dealing with her, pray it never comes to that.
[4433.0s] There is not a more foul creature
[4436.4s] in all of the nine hells.
[4438.0s] I mean, it's pretty impressive to be the number one worst
[4440.4s] in all nine of the hells.
[4442.8s] Yeah, even more impressive if she was to make it
[4445.2s] onto this plane of existence,
[4447.0s] destroy everything that you know and love,
[4449.9s] rip it from the very fabrics of reality
[4453.0s] and change it to her own doing, sure.
[4455.6s] What do you think they meant by the masks are combined?
[4460.3s] The masks are joined.
[4461.4s] Well, all of the leaders had masks, right?
[4463.9s] That's what Varam was doing,
[4466.1s] was trying to find his mask.
[4468.1s] That sounds like we're probably not gonna be getting
[4470.4s] that mask back.
[4473.0s] If it comes to it, Sir Ligard,
[4475.4s] can we call upon you when we are in need of aid
[4480.2s] in battle?
[4481.4s] If it's within my power to give,
[4483.9s] I will be by your side if you truly fight
[4486.6s] against the workings of Tiamat.
[4488.6s] Thank you.
[4489.6s] How would we call upon you in our time of need?
[4494.3s] No, dragon's ears can hear for a great many miles.
[4498.5s] If you call upon me and my friend can hear you,
[4501.2s] I will come.
[4502.2s] Sweet.
[4503.6s] Okay.
[4505.6s] It's about dusk and it turns to night
[4507.9s] as you guys rest, regaling each other
[4510.8s] of wild stories that you've had fighting dragons
[4515.2s] and other such creatures.
[4517.3s] And we have a lifetime membership to Fantasy Costco.
[4522.4s] And you take watch and take rest throughout the night.
[4527.0s] Morning comes and my friend, the dragon returns.
[4533.9s] My friend, what news have you brought?
[4536.0s] In Draconic, he says,
[4539.2s] I followed the black dragon to Thay,
[4544.4s] where he was quickly taken in by a magical force
[4549.7s] that I was not able to get through to.
[4552.1s] I waited to see if anybody came or went after that,
[4555.3s] but nothing left Thay and nothing else went in.
[4560.4s] Where is Thay?
[4561.8s] Oh, that's way fucking far away from here.
[4564.2s] I flew really fast.
[4566.5s] Please rest, my friend, and I will guard you.
[4569.1s] He curls up like a dog and goes to sleep.
[4571.9s] Does it take him a while to have to do a few turns?
[4574.2s] Kind of kneads at the ground a little bit.
[4576.1s] Oh.
[4577.0s] Yeah.
[4577.8s] I scratch him behind the ears.
[4580.3s] Do we know, like you said when we crashed,
[4583.3s] we were like on the outskirts of the Misty Forest.
[4587.3s] So do we safely know the direction we're heading now?
[4591.5s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[4592.6s] So you crashed just on the outside of Daggerford.
[4595.5s] So there's a river that is between you and the Misty Forest,
[4599.3s] but you're now not having the airship
[4602.5s] or about a day and a half's journey to the Misty Forest.
[4608.0s] Cool.
[4608.9s] Less if we're on an owl?
[4610.7s] Yeah, obviously less if you're on an owl.
[4613.6s] Obviously less if we're on an owl.
[4615.6s] Yes, less if you're on an owl.
[4619.4s] The rousing banter continues for quite some time.
[4622.4s] Through the rousing banter?
[4625.8s] And you all decide to go your separate ways.
[4633.0s] Sir Ligert stays by my friend's side
[4637.4s] and you all set off along the trail
[4640.1s] saying your sweet goodbyes to your savior
[4644.5s] in the dragon scale armor
[4648.0s] and head off towards the Misty Forest back on foot,
[4652.0s] as you were many moons ago.
[4655.8s] Oh, not this guy.
[4656.9s] He's flying off on a blue dragon.
[4658.4s] There's a saddle.
[4659.9s] Oh yeah, no, I figured he's, yeah, he's out.
[4663.5s] Yeah, you're going off to do amazing things
[4665.5s] with the dragon.
[4666.6s] We're just schlepping through the woods
[4669.2s] to try and get killed by a different dragon, probably.
[4673.1s] Crumping on through the woods.
[4675.0s] Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod
[4679.8s] of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
[4682.8s] Oh, yes.
[4687.6s] Flip the page through the pencil down
[4689.6s] and just threw his hands into the paper.
[4692.2s] Oh, yeah.
[4693.1s] Oh, yeah.
[4693.9s] Oh, yeah.
[4694.8s] Oh, yeah.
[4695.6s] Oh, yeah.
[4696.4s] Oh, yeah.
[4697.3s] Oh, yeah.
[4698.1s] Oh, yeah.
[4699.0s] Oh, yeah.
[4699.8s] Oh, yeah.
[4700.6s] Oh, yeah.
[4701.5s] Oh, yeah.
[4702.3s] Oh, yeah.
[4703.2s] Oh, yeah.
[4704.0s] He just threw his hands in the air.
[4705.4s] He's already given up.
[4706.5s] I'm already giving up.
[4708.2s] I knew bringing a guest on wouldn't be good for any.
[4710.6s] It's gonna be fantastic.
[4713.8s] Well, then sit back and relax
[4715.5s] as I take you out of your reality
[4717.1s] and into my nightmares.
[4718.4s] Oh no, we're in his game now.
[4719.2s] Welcome to the Bros and Dragons podcast.
[4721.4s] Russ got up and walked away.
[4725.2s] We didn't know about Francis not being okay, did we?
[4729.2s] No.
[4730.0s] That was new.
[4730.9s] That was new.
[4732.1s] I don't know how to feel about it, guys.
[4734.7s] And now I'm torn.
[4735.5s] I figured you'd be ecstatic, Amy.
[4737.4s] I'm really excited,
[4738.2s] but I also feel bad about being excited.
[4740.3s] I don't think Thea's like a sociopath.
[4747.8s] You're looking really great in those sweatpants.
[4751.1s] I'm trying the opposite.
[4753.3s] I'm going the opposite route.
[4754.6s] Like maybe I was too harsh
[4755.9s] and he's doing really well because of it.
[4757.3s] I thought that was in-game
[4758.5s] and you were saying that to the night.
[4761.0s] I was like, why is he wearing sweatpants?
[4765.6s] Is he wearing armor and sweatpants?
[4767.3s] Cause that's not a good look.
[4769.6s] Flint is a eunuch.
[4770.9s] It's canon.
[4774.9s] Well, that doesn't really play well
[4776.3s] for me being naked in the interrogation
[4778.4s] from a few episodes back.
[4779.8s] So.
[4780.8s] It does because everyone was, you know,
[4783.9s] like no one knew what to do about it.
[4786.9s] I believe there were numerous references
[4789.7s] to a certain appendage being visible.
[4795.9s] How do you explain the thumbs up?
[4798.6s] Exactly.
[4803.0s] The gate swinging wide means TMS, not a small girl.
[4810.0s] Are you fat shaming TMS?
[4813.4s] Oh, he's going to be the first to go.
[4815.8s] Oh my God.
[4818.8s] Good Lord.
[4819.7s] Everybody will watch him be picked apart.
[4821.7s] Oh no.
[4823.5s] I had a good run.
[4824.4s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.